Ah, you were missed!
I am so in awe of your network of friends, supporting you, reminding you of your goals, throwing out suggestions and looking forward to your posts! For my two cents, perhaps a few days in a B&B for you to rest, plan and really get to know yourself. Do you remember "The Stranger" by Billy Joel? "He is not always evil, and he is not always wrong.." I've been doing a lot of mirror-gazing myself, so it's on my mind. What have you noticed about youself that you never realized before? Who have you met so far that made you laugh? Want to cry? How do the struggles of others affect how you see youself? Who do you want to just sit down and share an hour with right now? Are you more in tune with youself? Does it make you twitch, or are you enjoying the experience? Do you see what so many of your friends see, the man who is supportive, kind, poised and in love with life?
Maybe these questions will give you something else to mull over, maybe they are silly and inconsequential? Maybe you have better thoughts on you mind.
I wish you luck and support, safety and peace,
with a big mental hug!