learnteach: (Default)
So much is happening, so much is not happening; I'm out of the habit of journalling here, which I'm sure I'll regret at some point.

JORB: Had an interview, at the place where the VP kept blowing me off. He asked for a lot, gave nothing, so I sent him a presentation with a request (with a SOCK award) in it. IF he contacts me before the end of the month, I'll owe him socks. IF not, no loss.

It leads me to think, what do I really want in a job?

TRAVELS: West/An Tir was low key, but fun. Chuck and Petra were camp close due to hayfever, so I didn't get out as much as I normally do. Did sing Woad a lot, visited a bit, listened to people. Played Stick, got MagPye to sing (beautiful soprano) and a little from Aasa. Heard the Calontiri WestWarsong, which is good but not perfect, and I will learn and teach it.

....more later

Thursday 5

Apr. 13th, 2017 04:21 pm
learnteach: (Default)
1. health. Dammit, caught one of the colds going around, phlegmy. Drinking lots of fluids. Not sleeping well.
2. Jorb. Torn between teaching (heart) and tech support (money). Not working in either of them.
3. Relationships. Ruth is now my Girlfriend; if you see me on FB, it's a pretty serious thing. she's amazing and good for me. But life is stressful for her. But I'm good for stress. So I'm seeing her 3-4 days a week...last night an art opening and dinner, last weekend an opening, dance, brunch...life is good.
4. It's forcing me to grow in interesting ways.
5. Some bastid stole my weedwhacker, but taxes are more important right now.
6 chickens, that's cool.
learnteach: (Default)
In taking little steps,
In following or going on your own,
so does the dance progress,
So is the relationship grown.

Some are done in private;
Some are done alone--
Some are done in public,
And then to all you own--

The truths or lies you're feeling,
exposed to all the world
On social media you share them,
and you're on the dancefloor whirled.

A lady who bid me ask her dance,
likes dancing with me still.
We adventure and art and cook and sing.
Will I be with her on FB? I will.


I will stand with her asked or unasked;
I will support her best I can;
I will be her strength when asked for;
I want to be her man.

wow. Impromptu poetry.
learnteach: (Default)
Trying to get Poem a Day going again. Lots of images queued up. Not a great brainspace right now, but working on it.

Against the wall of time
/ You reach out and show me the flowers /
messages and meaning in rock cracks
/ joy in moments
/ and my fears evaporate
/ because you are with me
/ We may fall, but I will catch you
/ you will catch me
/ we will reach glory
/ or not--but with you--
/ I am brave enough to try
/ hopeful enough to reach
/ reminded to be here, now.
John R. Schmidt
learnteach: (Default)
Moving over from LJ.

What's happening with me?

I have for the past 3 years been dating a woman who is polyamorous...now I a seeing a different woman who is poly, and it's making me better because I'm redefining my needs and wants, and sharing and experiencing sooo much. I'll be posting more about it here, perhaps...

Right now I'm amazed and in thought. It's hard work, processing all the emotions of both of us, and also figuring out what I want and what I can provide.

I'm shocked to find that what I consider basic consideration and affection (caring about someone as a verb, checking in, trying to react to fact not emotion, "Don't be a Dick", state your needs) is so ...valued, or perhaps unusual?

I need to figure out my finances--do my taxes, run my burn rate--and take better control of my health (mental, physical, spiritual) and my finances.

I'm trying to figure out how to rejoin some of my earlier pursuits, and how much time to invest. Fighting (SCA), martial arts, dance, theater...all are time sinks.

I'm really enjoying the new relationship. It is helping me grow in good ways.

Next step

Nov. 17th, 2016 09:18 am
learnteach: (Default)
Refused to work Tday.. given 11/30 end day. Hr rep said no way staying until 9 pm to process. Proposed hand off on 12/1 noon. Response: Friday, shift start at 8, copied to VP HR and Facilities....prolly be walked today.

We'll see.
learnteach: (bman)
1. Culture: Poetry Highbrow form:

RM wrote me this: Mon amour, tu m'aides à me sentir vivant de nouveau, tu me laisses agir comme moi et me cacher derrière ma mascarade. Pour danser pour sentir aimer être aimé, cela signifie plus pour moi que ma gratitude ne pourrait jamais exprimer. Mon amour je sens ne sera jamais assez mais je te donnerai mon coeur ..

I roll the words through my head, and pick at them, and they become more of a poem. They are so powerful...I feel an edge of Gomez coming one. Seriously...you want to reach my heart? Forget under the ribs and up (through the stomach), forget the cooking, and if you think a physical act will do it, dress up, go dancing with me, and at some point whisper words I don't understand completely at the moment into my ear.

or just send it to me...I don't google it until I roll it around in my brain...aaaaah. It seeds more poetry. She has truely observed a way to

2. Material Work Culture:

In front of me on my desk are two bubble up timers. Behind me on the wall up high are 8 office clocks, all labeled. ON the other side of the building, a yellow Minion doll sits on top of the cubes.

All three of these things (which are more than 3 things) are the physical embodiment of the surviving corporate culture. Each started from some idea, and grew, then diminished or changed.

After a big push in support on soft phone skills, I got everyone bubble up timers so that you would set the 3 minute timer at the beginning of the call to give you a clue that you needed to 1. Do the small talk 2. Verify the customer 3. Make sure you were on the correct issue 4. Give the strategy quickly and clearly (before the timer ran out). It was incredibly useful at the time, and it became a badge of support--everyone who worked in the group got a different colored timer (I got them from either Thinkgeek or Oriental Express--https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/Liquid-Timers-Bubble-Up-Timers_11860706/showimage.html was what they were.

Last week, all the remaining support people but myself were laid off. Before they left, the two who got timers from me came and put them on my desk.

Both of the timers are broken; they never were meant to last as long as they did. The company's broken, too.... but the badges of honor remind me more.

The clocks were the brainchild of Ron Plunk...as the facilities shrank, he collected the wall clocks, labelled them, and set them to the lcoal times--US West/US East, England, India, Japan, Australia...it was a good reminder. The end of the row is Miller. He was laid off two weeks ago, with the rest of the group. Only I ever see the clocks. ...I should either fix them, or move.

The Minion came from an old joke; I called all the interns "Minions" at one point, which they found funny and copied, and their supervisor deplored (They are employees!) So when I found an inexpensive blow up Minion, I gave it to Victoria. She put it on top of her cube (on the bookshelf) because that's how you know someone still works there--they don't clean the cubes out, but when you leave you pull everything off the high part. I look over to that and remember the happier times.

I don't know how much longer this job will last--not more than 3 weeks...but we will see. Time to hunt.

3. Political Culture

SO MUCH VITRIOL which hides the real issues: Why is the TPP fastracked? Why was the tax rate not attacked back to Reagan era levels at least? Why are we still spending so damn much on the military? It's all a shell game...that's our political culture, shock and awe and reality TV. I'm with the pantsuit nation, but what about the other issues? Housing, schools, homeless, guns, drugs, healthcare, roads? Police services and police brutality? What has happened?

Work on it. VOTE!
learnteach: (Default)
Aaaaaaaargh. Up since 7 to ho. Still waiting. FTS. Different reality. Never fucking again.
learnteach: (bman)
1. Bought cabbage starts. What kind? Isn't going to matter. Squirrels are eating them.

2. Cabbage butterfly (which I like) laid eggs on cabbage starts. Squirrels ate the leaves.

3. I'm leaving for DC for a week, so I pulled the carrots (OMG, so good--made a mire poix, ate some raw, going to pickle a small jar for my cousin) and put the cabbage in....

4. No pumpkins, and less corn--the pumpkin vines had all the roots eaten, then squirrels ate the baby gourds, and some of the corn had roots eaten too.

5. Chickens still happy. Newsflash: Put newspaper in the cage, pulling poop out will be easy. DUH.
learnteach: (Oak Tree)
1. One of the chickens hasn't been as active. Molt is coming on, so I wasn't worrying about it. I forgot to close the coop door last night, and said chicken is missing...

2. Garlic from last year: hung to dry in garage. Hose fell off of dryer, didn't think about it...all bulbs mouldered away. Perfect empty garlic bulbs.

3. 3 sisters going great gangbusters, the indian corn is multistalked, the gophers are eating the beans and pumpkin roots.

4. Rats are eating the back garden pretty strongly...may be squirrels.

5. Mushroom garden a loss, have to rejigger.

So tired all the time...gotta get off this shift.

Monday 3

Aug. 23rd, 2016 07:49 pm
learnteach: (Default)
Hour 3 of a twenty minute call foisted on me at the last second. Less than halfway done. Local tools busted prolly by new hires. Every day I'm shufflin
learnteach: (bass)
1. Werk. Well, in the staff meeting this morning, it was stated that the Pharoah has decided that Russians are good, and has made contact with a firm in Kiev (yes, I know, not Russians, Ukranians) who will provide support engineers for the off shifts.

so....well, there it is. That's pretty clear. Except none of them have storage experience. "But we can train them!". Hmm. Right. Nope.

2. Wrrrrk. Chickens! They're getting more aggressive. I planted them a garden, which they can't get into, but still plants are disappearing...I think it's rats, dangit.

3. Next big thing: Get the aikido black belt, which means work out, lose weight, and get stretchy again, and get off this shift. OK. Let's see if this idea sticks.

4. Socialness...taking a big hit still from job.

5. Too many things to do feels like I live in ghormengast. Sleep will help. Workshift over at 12:30 in bed by 1 awake by 7...sigh.
learnteach: (bman)
1. I am now over my 3 big commits: Clockwork Alchemy, Serenade, and El Capitan. They all did better than I expected, because I work with excellent people. They all could use course corrections and improvements. Now, I need to figure out what my next commits are.

2. I can say with experience that post-show crash from producing is in fact the same as post show crash from performing. Need to tech crew, FOH and direct to round it all out. But it's the combination of withdrawal from social contract, lack of external sourced focus, and realization of exhaustion that's the same. Except, of course, producing means another month of reports and meetings. Callout to Rose/Laurie for taking care of the cast party while I worked. Good luck to her on The Music Man!

3. Chickens are getting aggressive towards me, which is strange. Lack of food? Lack of Greens? The fact that I made a garden they want to eat then put a cage around it? I don't know. They'll get some cage time this week.

4. Work is inherently exhausting, especially when they schedule 8:30 AM meetings (I work 3 PM to Midnight). It's only money... It's infuriating to see simple things that could be done, but won't be, because "we don't have the resources". It's even more infuriating to realize how much harder I sometimes work because I do the job...and most don't. Not an environment worth sticking around in.

5. Job hunt. Gotta get on it. Only 60 days left in this contract.

That's 5. Drink more water. Do more tickets.
learnteach: (Yay!)
1. Whitechapel Bar. Plusses: Very nice gin drinks, Steampunk Decor, tasty food. Minuses: San Francisco Bar on a Friday night. Streets lined with homeless people and tense police (BLM protest at Civic Center.) Bonus Double Plus: People. Would do it again, not on a Friday night, not having to cross a protest.

2. "Ragtime", in Union City. Very topical, great music, wonderful company. Great characterization, excellent singing and dancing. Some nitpiks, but still totally worth it. Makes me want to do more theater.

3. German Spud Salad. 2.5 lb red, scrubbed diced and steamed. 2 oz bacon minced, cooked, with 1 1/2 fine dice onion cooked down in the grease, 1 Tbs yellow mustard seed, 1/2 tsp Coleman's mustard powder, 1 tsp celery seed, cooked down and pan deglazed with 1 cup apple cider vinegar, mixed hot. OMG, so good!

4. Planning adventures? Ok. Housesit a place with a hot tub. Travel to Seattle. Go hang with friends at Purg.

5. Presented budget for show.
learnteach: (Fall Helm)
1. Show goes on...it's much easier to not fight "the way it's always been done". Time to get the publicity going.

2. DIdn't do much this weekend. Had some days off, just didn't have much motivation. Skipped Kirby Cove, skipped travelling for parties. I want to be active...

3. Need to fix the diet/exercise regime. Back to HMR on Wednesday. Swim/Yoga/walk every day.

4. Work. Well, got a message on Friday that a 90 day extension to the contract was available. Given how everything else is changed, just sent back a "only if the pay goes up" note. Probably be refused. Half of me says "Take the money here!" the other half says "There is no future here!" Both are true. Driving me crazy, in between the two.

5. Chickens. Doing OK. Not escaping.

Wish me luck on the job tomorrow; I know they'll counteroffer low. I didn't want to leave it until the last minute, but they didn't come back to me until Friday--when I work M-Th, and had F-to M marked as off on the calendar (4rth).

I feel like an idiot. Ah well.


Jun. 24th, 2016 08:58 pm
learnteach: (Default)
Lost VO gig to not getting work done fast enough. Losing support contract due to things. Not announced but my nerves say so. Bleh.

What gives me joy? Walks with friends, dancing, coffee wits.
learnteach: (Default)
Trolls and ops and dubious links. Dens having sit ins because repugs won't do anything. Endless fucking sealioning and fear selling.

Fucking done. Balanced discussion? No possible there. Fuck you Republican obstructionist murdering tools. FUCK OFF AND DIE IN GUNFIRE.


Jun. 12th, 2016 05:21 pm
learnteach: (Fall Helm)
The best way to kill a birthday? Get blamed for the off shift dropping the ball on a case. Point it out, have it blamed on the one guy who is responsible. Point that out, get things moving, and then get caught up in the "why don't you get all your hours approved ahead of time?" discussion, where I am going to request things in writing, which will never happen.

Get told "Dude! "44

exact words:


You are missing this big time! As a manager, I expect to know the times beforehand that any of my team members are on schedule so that I can accurately manage the business. If all of a sudden a team member decides, “well, I’m not going to work 5 days this week, but work 4 days a week”, that should be discussed with me and approved prior to that decision. I appreciate the flexibility. I really do. Let’s not get that confused. However, I do expect notice of any deviation from the schedule that we have because we need to make changes in coverage and phone routing.


You were given advanced notice. You chose to forget the second part, where I worked extra hours to make them up. You now want to know why I am so negative about working extra hours. Is it so hard to understand? I've lost 8 hours of obvious, and 20 hours of previous, overtime. That's extremely significant. So, if it isn't written, it's not real.

Also, "dude"? Really? Fuck you. I am not your friend, I am your employee, as the rest of the message hammers home to me.
learnteach: (Glee)
ExcitableHill: So Thiel financed Hulk Hogan's suit against Gawker. When do we find out that he's been financing Gamer Gate, the Rabid Puppies, and the Sanders campaign?

JustMello: He's pro-Trump.
ExcitableHill: I know, and the Sanders campaign, at this point, is just an adjunct to the Trump campaign.

John R. Schmidt ExcitableHill: Really? That's a lovely insult you have there.

ExcitableHill: John R. Schmidt I'm tired of bros of all form, regardless of if they are supporting Vox Day or the "we must destroy human civilization to keep a woman out of the Presidency option."

John R. Schmidt ExcitableHill: And so, you're saying that anyone who still feels Sen. Sanders is a viable candidate, or that voting for him in California may force the Democratic party to pay some attention to his platform, is equivalent to Vox Day? I understand your exhaustion from one remove (I am not as threatened by Trump's extremism.) Is this your intent?

ExcitableHill: John R. Schmidt I'm saying that willingness to accept the risk of a GOP presidency in order to advance an agenda which will never survive the current congress is a lot of privilege. Clinton's not perfect, but I stand a better chance of not ending up in a death camp if she's elected.

ExcitableHill:John R. Schmidt and that protecting queer, immigant, and Black lives is more important than "getting the bankers" right now.

John R. Schmidt ExcitableHill: Sure. I apologize; I'm going to stop this conversation. Please understand, however, that not all Bernie supporters are Bros...and economic inequality is a strong driver and base for the other inequalities.

ExcitableHill:The US is in survival mode now, we don't have room for any luxuries.

NO. THE UNITED STATES IS NOT IN SURVIVAL MODE. It's in Oligarchy Mode. It's in Fear Mode. But it's not in Survival Mode. But if this is the fear of the other that you give into...rednecks (immigrants) will kill you (will impose law and kill you) then you've lost.

And if this is what you believe, take to the fucking streets. Arguing on FB is just pissant irritating. In France, on a labor issue, they've shut the country down. Here, slow down the commute and hate is poured out upon you. I walked the line 4 years, every week I was there, I was spit on and struck and threatened because I stood up for the women, and I made a difference. Friends are walking with the Black Lives Matter set. Get out and talk to the politicians. Get on the City Council. At least WRITE your congresswoman. But sowing fear on FB that anyone who votes for Sanders...or for that matter, who votes for anyone BUT Hillary Clinton--is going to elect Trump who will PUT ALL XXXXXX IN DEATH CAMPS... I'm out.

I do invite you, dear readers, to vote, vote strong, and tell me what you strongly feel about. I voted Jerry Hill, Honda, and Harris; not as happy about Harris but best choice given, I thought. And my presidential vote will be A) Pro Women's Rights (especially health) and B) Against having family members killed in overseas expeditionary bullshit. So Trump? Right out.

It doesn't help that a grim friend declaimed that Trump would win, and set all to right...I wish the general run of the Republicans I know (not all Republicans) were less depressed and cranky, or downright gun crazy.

Toxic. Go get your vote on.


May. 14th, 2016 06:31 pm
learnteach: (bman)
1. Play fantastic. Stanford Savoyard's "Don Giovanni". Skipped FNW to sleep....good call.

2. Java with Jerry very good. Interesting discussions about power, public oversight, and the political process. Multiple older women reading from prepared statements, ready to burst into tears (I loved the letter from the "Save the Jarvis Foundation" about how the taxes would kill the elderly, right after the "We must have multiple evaluations and mental health and social workers if you want to kill yourself!" lady. The Right is doing it right; the form letters are well crafted and they send in multiple supporters, all outraged at how the Government is Trying to Kill them/ Tax them Unfairly) It's ...rather fascinating, really, especially when Senator Hill's greatest strength is power utility discussion... which had a whole bunch of kooks ready to roll.

3. Senator Hill is a politician; he has met and worked with Harris and Clinton, and endorsed them months ago. No surprises. THe surprise was his support for nuclear energy, because he's green...and his depth and grasp of these issues.

4. Went to Mists/Cyn war. Tried to put armor on. Gap. 1", but down the centerline? No. A. Write out diet and exercise plan and B) Make new body armor, longer, which can handle the overlap.

5. Focusing down in the day helps. Do less better, and be ready to rest or be flexible. 3 hours in the sun hauling chairs and marshalling tired me out. Skip the evening, sleep...

6. Gonna be a rough week, gotta get CA geared, start rolling forward on El Capitan, and there's some serious Serenade rehearsals to do... Avaunt!

7. CHICKENS! Closed them in the backyard, but left path to back fence open. Found them all in frontyard...sneaky, sneaky. THink the lights are keeping them up too late. Chaz brought cole, they jumped ALL over that.

8. Need to imitate Laina and do a side project.
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