learnteach: (kissing)
learnteach ([personal profile] learnteach) wrote2007-05-21 05:12 pm

Usta be.

Usta be.

Reflection on roles.



I'm undergoing some existential angst here, on top of the difficult school system and the general life issues. It's not a big thing, but I thought I'd throw it out of my forebrain and onto the internet where it wouldn't bother me so much.

(Could be worse...usually it's Existential Blues! http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/e/existentialblues.shtml)

Ya see, I usta be...a lot of things that I'm not anymore. Haven't put the time in. Haven't been keeping up on the dues.

Usta be an engineer. I forget how strong a part of my personality that was. It's been 3 years since I designed/set up/hacked anything more interesting than basic computer electronics. I teach engineering, but am I really an engineer?

Usta be a martial artist. Not doing much of that in any form these days. Dojo-kun, continual practice, self improvement, arguing philosophy while drinking sake, just not doing it.

Usta be a motorcyclist. Never a biker. Now, I just ride a bike occasionally.

Wanted to be a teacher. Have found, at least at the high school science level, that I'm not cut out for it--not making me very happy. Not making me ANY money.

Usta, wanted to...what am I now?

Existential blues.

[identity profile] klwilliams.livejournal.com 2007-05-22 12:40 am (UTC)(link)
I've been feeling that lately, too. I'm not really a programmer anymore. I hate the "Are you...*technical*?" question in interviews. I'm not a fighter in the SCA anymore. I'm hanging on to being a scribe, but just barely.