Usta be.

[learnteach]

Usta be.

Reflection on roles.



I'm undergoing some existential angst here, on top of the difficult school system and the general life issues. It's not a big thing, but I thought I'd throw it out of my forebrain and onto the internet where it wouldn't bother me so much.

(Could be worse...usually it's Existential Blues! http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/e/existentialblues.shtml)

Ya see, I usta be...a lot of things that I'm not anymore. Haven't put the time in. Haven't been keeping up on the dues.

Usta be an engineer. I forget how strong a part of my personality that was. It's been 3 years since I designed/set up/hacked anything more interesting than basic computer electronics. I teach engineering, but am I really an engineer?

Usta be a martial artist. Not doing much of that in any form these days. Dojo-kun, continual practice, self improvement, arguing philosophy while drinking sake, just not doing it.

Usta be a motorcyclist. Never a biker. Now, I just ride a bike occasionally.

Wanted to be a teacher. Have found, at least at the high school science level, that I'm not cut out for it--not making me very happy. Not making me ANY money.

Usta, wanted to...what am I now?

Existential blues.

Comments

[beanolc.livejournal.com]

Saying that you're not cut out to be a teacher isn't fair if you leave it at surface level. You have every single quality needed for a good teacher; it is not shortcomings on your part that make this job a bad fit. I lay the blame on the system. If you were to succeed in this system, what part of yourself would you have to sell? The sacrifices aren't worth enough.

So if you say you're not cut out to be a teacher, please look beyond the surface of that statement.