Usta be.

May. 21st, 2007 05:12 pm
learnteach: (kissing)
[personal profile] learnteach
Usta be.

Reflection on roles.



I'm undergoing some existential angst here, on top of the difficult school system and the general life issues. It's not a big thing, but I thought I'd throw it out of my forebrain and onto the internet where it wouldn't bother me so much.

(Could be worse...usually it's Existential Blues! http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/e/existentialblues.shtml)

Ya see, I usta be...a lot of things that I'm not anymore. Haven't put the time in. Haven't been keeping up on the dues.

Usta be an engineer. I forget how strong a part of my personality that was. It's been 3 years since I designed/set up/hacked anything more interesting than basic computer electronics. I teach engineering, but am I really an engineer?

Usta be a martial artist. Not doing much of that in any form these days. Dojo-kun, continual practice, self improvement, arguing philosophy while drinking sake, just not doing it.

Usta be a motorcyclist. Never a biker. Now, I just ride a bike occasionally.

Wanted to be a teacher. Have found, at least at the high school science level, that I'm not cut out for it--not making me very happy. Not making me ANY money.

Usta, wanted to...what am I now?

Existential blues.

Date: 2007-05-22 01:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cvirtue.livejournal.com
I'm with Beanolc. This teaching situation is not a reasonable test of your teaching abilities, in the same way that a 55-degree slope is not a fair test of your uphill walking abilities.

Now, maybe you do want to throw in the towel on teaching, and that's your choice, but don't do it with data from this school.

So -- when you want to ignore things, play hookie, obsess about something you're not supposed to be doing, what are those things? That's where you'll probably find your next passion.

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