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learnteachUsta be.
Reflection on roles.
I'm undergoing some existential angst here, on top of the difficult school system and the general life issues. It's not a big thing, but I thought I'd throw it out of my forebrain and onto the internet where it wouldn't bother me so much.
(Could be worse...usually it's Existential Blues! http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/e/existentialblues.shtml)
Ya see, I usta be...a lot of things that I'm not anymore. Haven't put the time in. Haven't been keeping up on the dues.
Usta be an engineer. I forget how strong a part of my personality that was. It's been 3 years since I designed/set up/hacked anything more interesting than basic computer electronics. I teach engineering, but am I really an engineer?
Usta be a martial artist. Not doing much of that in any form these days. Dojo-kun, continual practice, self improvement, arguing philosophy while drinking sake, just not doing it.
Usta be a motorcyclist. Never a biker. Now, I just ride a bike occasionally.
Wanted to be a teacher. Have found, at least at the high school science level, that I'm not cut out for it--not making me very happy. Not making me ANY money.
Usta, wanted to...what am I now?
Existential blues.
Reflection on roles.
I'm undergoing some existential angst here, on top of the difficult school system and the general life issues. It's not a big thing, but I thought I'd throw it out of my forebrain and onto the internet where it wouldn't bother me so much.
(Could be worse...usually it's Existential Blues! http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/e/existentialblues.shtml)
Ya see, I usta be...a lot of things that I'm not anymore. Haven't put the time in. Haven't been keeping up on the dues.
Usta be an engineer. I forget how strong a part of my personality that was. It's been 3 years since I designed/set up/hacked anything more interesting than basic computer electronics. I teach engineering, but am I really an engineer?
Usta be a martial artist. Not doing much of that in any form these days. Dojo-kun, continual practice, self improvement, arguing philosophy while drinking sake, just not doing it.
Usta be a motorcyclist. Never a biker. Now, I just ride a bike occasionally.
Wanted to be a teacher. Have found, at least at the high school science level, that I'm not cut out for it--not making me very happy. Not making me ANY money.
Usta, wanted to...what am I now?
Existential blues.
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no subject
Date: 2007-05-22 01:33 pm (UTC)I'm with the people who say that you can't judge your ability to be a teacher on your current experience. Consider this:
You meet a fighter in the SCA. He was a successful athlete outside the SCA. Since joining the SCA six months ago, he's gone to only backyard practice full of nothing but dukes and shiny new knights. He's gotten sporadic help, but mostly he's gotten his clock cleaned. He's convinced he does not have a future as a fighter in the SCA. What do you say to him? And how is his situation different than yours?
You started in the deep end of the teaching pool with very little training. There's programs at places like Harvard (and other universities I think) to provide instruction for mid-career switches to teaching that I imagine also help the graduates land in teaching positions not in the dregs of the system. Maybe teaching isn't for you - but I wouldn't write it off based on your current situation.