Retribution

[learnteach]

Ok, so, that's obviously the trait that everyone has commented upon.

But I think that you all have the wrong definition of it:

RETRIBUTION
Pronunciation: `retru'byooshun


WordNet Dictionary

Definition: [n] the act of correcting for your wrongdoing
[n] the act of taking revenge (harming someone in retaliation for something harmful that they have done) especially in the next life; "Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord"--Romans 12:19; "For vengeance I would do nothing. This nation is too great to look for mere revenge"--James Garfield; "he swore vengeance on the man who betrayed him"; "the swiftness of divine retribution"
[n] a justly deserved penalty

It's a nice biblical term--usually, it's the just retribution of God, right?

So, Contrition is being sorry--caring what happened, and responding to it, with your heart. Retribution is the act of correction--making right (makes me wonder about the roots. Re tribulation? it's from the french, though.) or making payment.

I'm good at making retribution going out from me, but could be better. Feeling sorry is not enough; it is not a virtue; retribution, however, is.

In my specific case, the main retribution needs to be to myself. If something goes wrong/bad and I'm sorry how it went; change what happened, accept the rightness of the change.

Specifically, if someone injures me, while remaining open to them as a person, don't be an idiot; change my stance. For, as I was reminded in a conversation recently:

Them: "It hurts, doesn't it, this loss"
Me: "Quite a lot."
Them: "You love her very much"
Me: "Yes. Enough to marry her, have and raise children with her, commit to her."
Them: "But don't you love yourself as well?"

....Um, well, ok. In that case, the contrition is feeling sad, but the retribution (is not revenge as so many people have reacted) but making right--and strengthening my heart. Too many times I've held onto past loves at the expense of present possibilities and people...not that it's bad to stay loving, but if they're gone, at some point (as soon as possible, after the end) let them go to be friends.

Is there a better word, oh commentators?

And knowing there's an end..that's a debate by itself.

Comments

[maestrateresa.livejournal.com]

Knowing that other meaning of retribution helps :) Perhaps Reparation is a word that's more understandable to the populace at large? (and it's still a "tion"!)

Knowing that making things right *within yourself* is a part of that is important. Letting go of the past and looking toward the future is also important. Holding on to the lessons learned from the past is part of the way to go forward, though, and a part of that is remembering the feelings and the insights gained from them. Obviously easier said than done. I think that you are wise to try to take things slowly, and to try to give yourself ample opportunity to grieve and reflect instead of leaping once more into the fray without time to catch your breath and catch up to yourself.

Contemplating and possibly revising your goals and ideas is such a good idea...not that you necessarily actually need to change anything...just to give yourself the opportunity so to do should it seem appropriate.

Maybe don't say "end"...maybe say "transition"......
Your relationship is not so much over, as it is changed to a new state. Accepting the reality of that new state seems to be the task currently at hand. Okay...enough blither from me....gotta go study for that final I have in an hour :)

[redsquirrel.livejournal.com]

Are you perhaps thinking of "restitution"?

restitution, n.
1. The act of restoring to the rightful owner something that has been taken away, lost, or surrendered. See Synonyms at reparation.
2. The act of making good or compensating for loss, damage, or injury; indemnification.
3. A return to or restoration of a previous state or position.

Definition 2, obviously.

Definition from YourDictionary.com

Recreation?

[callistotoni.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth:
I think I understand what you are saying about your use (both on the page and internally) of the word retribution. However, my experiance of trying to "make things right with myself" is better characterized by recreation.

I'm finding that one dirty little secret of middle age is the need to contunually re-invent oneself to meet current life needs/circumstances. I guess I thought I'd be established by now, both in a physical/economic/social sense and on a "who am I" sense.

We get roto-tilled, we carry on, even if it means we become different people in some sense.

Decision

[vew.livejournal.com]

de·ci·sion
n.
1.The passing of judgment on an issue under consideration.
2.The act of reaching a conclusion or making up one's mind.
3.A conclusion or judgment reached or pronounced; a verdict.
4.Firmness of character or action; determination.

[Middle English decisioun, from Old French decision, from Latin dcsi, dcsin-, curtailment, settlement, from dcsus, past participle of dcdere, to cut off, decide ; see decide.]

I think part of the process is decision... as it comes from the latin to cut off, it is hard to make that fork in the road. and love is a decision one that you make every day. I do not believe anyone is saying give up on that love, but it is a different path that you need to take and the pain of going from one to another can be great.
but you can decide to love yourself as well.

Definition from YourDictionary.com