Languaging; engagement and dreams...

[learnteach]

But probably more diet focused than you want to read, so,
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Languaging.   I've been having problems because I need to get more exercise.   And need...need is a hard word, a word like "should", a word of forcing.

What do I really want?  I want to walk more with friends...I want to see friends while working out...I want to dance more with friends.   Oh.  Want.  Ok.  Call up friends, arrange walking and dancing dates, check, well, that's easy.    I want to go back and fight on the field...ok, meet with Chuck and do that.

Will this get me to my goal?  Wait, what is my goal?

I've accomplished the negative goal--I am no longer pre-diabetic, hypertense, and having edema problems--but that's a negative goal, a pressure I'm moving away from.  What's a vision I can be moving towards?   A positive, wanted thing, rather than a negative, unwanted thing...

I have a vision.   I need to unfold it, and engage with it, in a positive way.

What if I applied this thinking to other areas of my life?  What changes would I see there?

What dreams may come...when you stretch to reach for them.

So...I've put a bid on a library bookcase.   And I'm sketching out a future.   A good future.   Come eat sourkraut in it with me, as we dance polka wearing silly hats!

Comments

[tamingheadfauna.livejournal.com]

Totally agree that "I need to" and "I should" are overly forceful; how about trading these statements in for something like "I am willing to" and "I recommit to".

Enjoy and embrace the fact you may have more energy or stamina to do the things, which bring you joy. These things do not have to be grandiose and I think it might be easier to find the smallest, tiniest, silliest things for now. It can be anything from being able to take a deeper breath or sustain a note when singing to noticing an increase in manual dexterity or an improvement in a sensing ability.

And sometimes, it's perfectly okay not to have answers, or goals, or be rushing about trying to "fix" things. Sometimes, we are brought to a place where it is perfectly reasonable to just abide for awhile.

[ladybrid.livejournal.com]

at some point, I very much want you to teach me to waltz! just seems like a very good moment to work towards, having you wooosh me about a room :)

[kareina.livejournal.com]

I must confess that when I read your subject line my first thought was "He is getting married? I didn't even know he was seriously seeing anyone!" Then I read the text and understood you to be talking about a very different (and more day-to-day useful) type of engagement.

I am glad you have accomplished the "negative goal", would a reasonable, and related, positive goal to work for be something like "enjoy good health, and maintain a fitness level appropriate to accomplish that"?

Positive Goals

[learnteach.livejournal.com]

Vague goals (enjoy better health) are not as good as specific goals. Specific goals:

1. Lose enough weight/be in shape to be able to do an hour of aikido in the morning, and an hour of dance at night. Note, this will help keep the shape.

2. plan more social walks, dances, etc.

3. Sing joyously more--it's fun.

...nope, still too general. Working on it.

[balutakat.livejournal.com]

When I read this post, I immediately thought of an article which quoted Samuel Johnson and helped me start thinking about the ways black and white thinking skew my everyday life. As well as struggling with that positive/negative problem, I also fare better lately when I make myself choose between being moderate and abstaining altogether, consciously. Thanks for this thoughtful post.


http://www.gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/