learnteach (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
learnteach) wrote2007-05-21 05:12 pm
learnteach) wrote2007-05-21 05:12 pm
Usta be.
Usta be.
Reflection on roles.
I'm undergoing some existential angst here, on top of the difficult school system and the general life issues. It's not a big thing, but I thought I'd throw it out of my forebrain and onto the internet where it wouldn't bother me so much.
(Could be worse...usually it's Existential Blues! http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/e/existentialblues.shtml)
Ya see, I usta be...a lot of things that I'm not anymore. Haven't put the time in. Haven't been keeping up on the dues.
Usta be an engineer. I forget how strong a part of my personality that was. It's been 3 years since I designed/set up/hacked anything more interesting than basic computer electronics. I teach engineering, but am I really an engineer?
Usta be a martial artist. Not doing much of that in any form these days. Dojo-kun, continual practice, self improvement, arguing philosophy while drinking sake, just not doing it.
Usta be a motorcyclist. Never a biker. Now, I just ride a bike occasionally.
Wanted to be a teacher. Have found, at least at the high school science level, that I'm not cut out for it--not making me very happy. Not making me ANY money.
Usta, wanted to...what am I now?
Existential blues.
Reflection on roles.
I'm undergoing some existential angst here, on top of the difficult school system and the general life issues. It's not a big thing, but I thought I'd throw it out of my forebrain and onto the internet where it wouldn't bother me so much.
(Could be worse...usually it's Existential Blues! http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/e/existentialblues.shtml)
Ya see, I usta be...a lot of things that I'm not anymore. Haven't put the time in. Haven't been keeping up on the dues.
Usta be an engineer. I forget how strong a part of my personality that was. It's been 3 years since I designed/set up/hacked anything more interesting than basic computer electronics. I teach engineering, but am I really an engineer?
Usta be a martial artist. Not doing much of that in any form these days. Dojo-kun, continual practice, self improvement, arguing philosophy while drinking sake, just not doing it.
Usta be a motorcyclist. Never a biker. Now, I just ride a bike occasionally.
Wanted to be a teacher. Have found, at least at the high school science level, that I'm not cut out for it--not making me very happy. Not making me ANY money.
Usta, wanted to...what am I now?
Existential blues.
no subject
Now, maybe you do want to throw in the towel on teaching, and that's your choice, but don't do it with data from this school.
So -- when you want to ignore things, play hookie, obsess about something you're not supposed to be doing, what are those things? That's where you'll probably find your next passion.