Next Phase

[learnteach]

She gave me the ring back today. I told her to keep it as a friendship ring. She told me that this was the third time we've tried, and she tried so hard it felt like it was breaking her. I feel...relieved. She's right. We are too different on many values to marry; when we look at what we want, we see different things. I feel sad, she's really neat and I want her in my life...but my life is big and complicated and she never really wanted to be in it anyway. I feel mad; she didn't make the effort to get to know my friends...but it's been a difficult set of years for her. Not too easy for me, in retrospect.

So now, like WingedCorset, I need to look at myself outside of a relationship and see how to improve.

Comments

[wingedcorset.livejournal.com]

If you want to go out to coffee and hang out and comiserate I'd be glad to.

[noressa.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm sorry, John... I didn't read this before I called......
*hugs*

practically content-less, but...

[tshuma]

*hug* and I offer you yet another ear (YAE(tm)) to bend if you like.

[maestrateresa.livejournal.com]

:(:(:( Sounds sadly familiar in some ways, as I'm sure you can imagine. I am deeply relieved for you that it didn't take you 20 years to find out, or deep lifechanges. Much support to you in finding more about your own "who". *hug*

[daibhidhbeag.livejournal.com]

Bah!

I've been trailblazing this trek of self-discovery for almost a year. Y'all are late comers =)

-D

[korwyn.livejournal.com]

Consider the following truths:
1) It takes 18 months or 1/2 the length of the relationship to get the needed distance to move on. It is a grief thing.
2) Who you are as yourself is who you are. The chemicals in your blood when you fall in love only last long enough (about 6 months) to allow you to shift your habits to include another person.
3) You are self-aware, although I wonder if you listen to yourself.

But dude, you are my friend, and I will help you hide the bodies.

[vew.livejournal.com]

you will be in my thoughs and prayers... I who took 10 years out of the pool.... do understand.

above all else you are my friend........

I' ve been there

[patsmor.livejournal.com]

But like the Maestra, I'm glad you didn't get caught (twice) and take 22 years to figure it out. I've been introiting and extroiting deeply the last five years, and am glad I am.

We love you.
SMOR